This year has felt a little like a marathon to me. We've had a lot to figure out, haven't we? With being beginners at marriage, volunteering with Collegiate Ministries, taking classes, moving, and all the rest. You've learned that you need to slow down and be still every now and then. I've learned that being part of a team means something different than I thought. Maybe it's because of my lack of team experience (aka opting out of every organized sport while growing up!) but I always thought that being on a team was all about being strong enough to pull your own weight, and then help everyone else pull theirs, too. I never realized that being part of a team also means asking for help. Why is asking for help one of the hardest things in the world for me? I suppose it's because it means admitting my weakness. Acknowledging my need. I came onto this team with high expectations for my own performance. I intended to keep my chin up and my shoulders square and carry all the weight of those expectations on my own. And I try. And the weight bears down and the cracks in me widen. And then I remember. I remember that I'm on a team. And you're there. And you take some of the burden off and let me ride a little way on your shoulders. And that was how it was meant to work all along.
I'm thankful that you've challenged me this year. I'm especially thankful that you've helped me to get up at 5:30 every morning for Bible study. I could never have done it without you. And I definitely love Jesus more than I did before. So thanks for pushing me to do what's good for me. And thanks for encouraging me to rest and sleep in when I needed it, too.
I'm still bad at asking for help, but I'll keep trying. And just so you know, I love the team we've become this year. I love how I boil the water, and you put in the oats. How you pour my orange juice while I make your sandwich. How you shovel the snow off my car and put away the dishes.
I want to be newlyweds for life. I mean, I want to always feel like a newbie at this. To always be marveling and learning and practicing together. Figuring out what it really means to be in this magical mystery, serving and being served for the love of God.
Let's never stop.
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